85. Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad

You guys, I am having issues trying to decide how to order all of these different little details that I give in addition to the reviews. Does anyone have issues with the Uncomfortable Plot Summaries being at the beginning, since they're potentially spoilerful? Should the ratings go at the beginning? Am I worrying too much?! -M.R.

Uncomfortable Plot Summary: A young man commits suicide by Malaysian.

Year Published: 1900
Pages: 417
First Sentence: He was an inch, perhaps two, under six feet, powerfully built, and he advanced straight at you with a slight stoop of the shoulders, head forward, and a fixed from-under stare which made you think of a charging bull.
Rating: 2/3 (meh)

Review:
I've been supremely curious about Joseph Conrad for a long time, but I have no idea why, only that it involves a reference to Heart of Darkness in something else I devoured, somewhere along the line.

I'm trying to write some slightly more comprehensive reviews, but unfortunately I'm pressed for time right now, so this time I'll just work through a list of points that I made while reading. Basically, please forgive me if this isn't very coherent.

The summary goes first, though. Jim is the sailor son of an English parson. According to Captain Marlow, who tells most of the story, Jim has the look of the finest sort of English naval man. However, he commits a truly great sin while serving as chief mate on a steamer carrying a vast cargo of pilgrims, which I won't spoil because it's just too good, only to say that it results in the loss of his honour. For some time after he works as a water clerk, and ends up withdrawing from the world to a place called Patusan, all in a struggle to recover that honour.

Like I said, Captain Marlow tells Jim's story. I have to say, I'm not a fan of Conrad's choice here. For one thing, Marlow repeats everything with way too much detail and at way too much length. According to the author's note in the edition I read, a lot of reviewers agreed with me on this when the book was first published. Conrad claims that Marlow's narration can be read aloud in under three hours, which I seriously doubt. I had the same issue with Nelly Dean's narration in Wuthering Heights. Nobody remembers anything this accurately or eloquently.

Things were made even worse because Marlow repeated entire stories within his own, so that it was often really hard to keep track of who was "I" at any given time. I hate having to work that hard when I'm reading something. Elizabeth Kostova did something like this in her novel The Historian, but she was quoting books and letters and things, and best of all, she used different fonts so everything was a lot more clear. Not that I really expect a book published in 1900 to do anything unusual in the way of typography, of course.

Having just read The Call of the Wild, I also couldn't help comparing Joseph Conrad to Jack London. To my knowledge, they're both sort of "adventure novelists," which I have to admit I find extremely romantic. Conrad's Jim is an amazing tragic hero (am I using that label properly?) but once again, I can't help but be more interested in the writer. However, Conrad doesn't show through his writing in Lord Jim to the extent that London does in The Call of the Wild. London is less verbose, and I like that better. Lord Jim has a solid ending but it drags horribly in the middle, partly because I didn't like Marlow, partly because Conrad waxes philosophical way too often. He writes beautifully sometimes, but others he falls victim to this sort of wall of text issue that required me to go back and read several pages several times.

Finally, I'm pretty sure that this is the first time I've ever thought that a book would make a better movie. Apparently one was made, and was terrible, but really I think that it could be awesome if done properly.

Oh, I almost forgot! This is just sort of a passing observation, but Arnold Bennett did it, too, and I wanted to mention it in my review of The Old Wives' Tale, but I forgot. Okay, so there are parts in both books where the characters are speaking French, and it's indicated very subtly by literally translating certain phrases instead of giving the English phrasing. I'm not sure how clear I'm being. For example, the statement, "You are extraordinary—you others," in a place where "vous autres" would be used in French and the English expression would be something along the lines of "you guys." (Alas, I'm not much of a translator.) Bennett actually did a much better job of this than Conrad, who couldn't resist putting the French in anyway.

And that's about everything. The book is a slog, but I highly recommend that you go and see the movie if it ever comes out.

- - - - -
The ship moved so smoothly that her onward motion was imperceptible to the senses of men, as though she had been a crowded planet speeding through the dark spaces of ether behind the swarm of suns, in the appalling and calm solitudes awaiting the breath of future creations.
- - - - -
A certain readiness to perish is not so very rare, but it is seldom that you meet men whose souls, steeled in the impenetrable armour of resolution, are ready to fight a losing battle to the last, the desire of peace waxes stronger as hope declines, till at last it conquers the very desire of life.
- - - - -
And besides, the last word is not said,—probably shall never be said. Are not our lives too short for that full utterance which through all our stammerings is of course our only and abiding intention? I have given up expecting those last words, whose ring, if they could only be pronounced, would shake both heaven and earth. There is never time to say our last word—the last word of our love, of our desire, faith, remorse, submission, revolt. The heaven and the earth must not be shaken. I suppose—at least by us who know so many truths about either.
- - - - -

Current Distractions, October 2010 Edition

Current Distractions is the feature where I tell you a story and give you some links to sweet stuff on the internet, in an effort to distract you from my laziness.


A Story

This month I bought a new car, and the process of learning how to drive it (I'd never learned to drive standard before), test driving, and then actually purchasing it has been terrifying and thrilling. The car I had previously, a trusty old thing named Vlad, was the first and only car I'd ever had. I lost my driving virginity in it, and we had numerous good times together over the years. But Vlad needed to retire, and for the past year we'd really been growing apart. I know this isn't really much of a story, but it's seriously the number one thing that's happened this month.

The alternative is to tell you about how me and my friend Simon accidentally wore the same outfit a couple Sundays ago, or how the other day I asked a coworker on crutches what he'd "done to himself," only to discover that it was due to some kind of disease(?). OOPS.


Some Links

Since I anticipate that I won't actually be posting as much as I'd like next month, please feel free to peruse the highly awesome Fear Street and BSC blogs, which are doing something similar to the romnov side of my project (which I'll have an update about soon, I swear!), but quite possibly much better.

Also it turns out that I am by no means unique when it comes to the Top 100 books, either, and you might be interested in having a look at Alli Rense's blog (be warned, she's got an English degree, and is even slower with The List than I am) and 100 Books/100 Journeys (a soccer mom, impossibly far ahead of me). Both of these ladies at least agree with me in their assessments of The Ginger Man, which is more than I can say for certain of my so-called friends.

NaNoWriMo

Hello sirs and madams! I'm just going to apologize in advance if this seems rushed or if I say anything that makes no sense, because, well, I'm writing it in a rush.

I mentioned briefly at the beginning of my last post that I'll be using my NaNoWriMo novel this year as next month's romnov.

I just thought that, since there are less than ten days to go before November 1, I should clarify what exactly I'm talking about.

NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, a challenge where you and whichever of your friends you can convince to join you, sit down and write 50 000 words worth of a novel (each). I've been doing this since 2005 inclusive (the first year that I had my own computer), and I've been successful three times so far, and basically I've had tons of fun and written a lot more than I otherwise would've. In fact, NaNoWriMo has been my single biggest reminder over the past five years of how much I love writing.

If you want to know more, I really encourage you to go to the website and have a look around.

So anyway, like I said in that other post, this year's NaNovel will be a Harlequin romance. Every other year, I've written something with a definite sf cast. This is basically the only kind of fiction I can write, no matter how hard I try. But this year, I'm going to try harder. Whether or not you remember The Event, there is this comment to consider, and others like it elsewhere if you do just a tiny bit of prowling around. And so, I'm going to put my money where my mouth is, and I'm going to see whether this whole romance gig is as straightforward as I think it is.

Something like this (via www.morenewmath.com)
So, over this next week I'll be putting together my outline for the novel, and getting ready some posts for next month about the romnov process and how it may or may not differ from my previous novelling experiences. And hey, maybe later I can actually try to get it published!(?!?!)  Hopefully you'll all enjoy this as much as I, hopefully, will.

R15. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J. K. Rowling [classic]

Oh man, you guys, this is the second last "classic" review! However, next month we're going to be taking a detour into NaNoWriMo...land? or whatever you want to call it. It counts because I'm writing a Harlequin-style romance novel this year! -M.R.

Context: I'm definitely a fan of the Harry Potter series, but I'm not what you might call a super fan. I've only read the books once, except for the first one, which I read to my brother. And I've only seen each movie once, although I did wait outside in the snow to get into the theatre on opening night to see the second one. I've never written fanfiction of it or anything like that, but I did go to the midnight release of the final book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which comes after this one (everyone and their dog should know that, of course, but just in case...). I'm not sure I agree with 2005!me on every point of this review, but I still tend to think that Rowling burned through the final books a little too fast, and the books definitely seem to make a leap from children's to YA fiction partway through the series. I made a lot of allusions to things in this review that I could probably elaborate on right now, but I think I'll save that for some future posts.

Year Published: 2005
Pages: 652

First Sentence: Somehow I couldn't find this on the internet and I don't have my own copy of the book. Anyone is welcome to help me out! hehe

Review:
Alas, I made the terrible error of visiting a book message board shortly after the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince where no one bothered to announce their spoilers (since it's obvious that everyone read this book within the first day after it was released, and didn't have to share it with their younger sister, who is the actual owner of it), and, anyway, I found out who dies in this book. Not, albeit, how, but still. I didn't even know someone was supposed to die. I guess I'm just not a loyal enough Potter fan.

But anyway, to review (and I'm honestly going to try to do a proper job of it this time!), we must first begin by explaining the basic premise. Harry Potter, as always, goes away to school and finds himself in the midst of exciting and evil whatnot. That's basically it, when it comes down to the bare bones of this book. The whole series, in fact. What I'd really love is to see it on Book-A-Minute*.

But I'm getting off-track, and using the word 'anyway' too much. Let's continue.

What I have to say right now, what I said immediately to my sister when she asked me what I thought of this book, is this: it's not a children's book anymore. Really when you think about it, the Harry Potter books have never been children's books in the ideal sense--and I'm not talking about how magic is evil and satanic. I'm just talking about some really disturbing subject matter. But then, conversely, a lot of the stuff here is pretty much identical to the dumbed-down versions of old-school fairy tales. So whatever. It's some sort of a tie. But now, we've got Horny Harry and his buddies running around kissing everybody; and then we've got people dying left, right and centre. I don't know where this qualifies as something that's fit to be read by young children. Or, you know, to read to them. Either way.

Of course, I'm not suggesting that Rowling should censor herself. The books would be a great deal worse because of it. It's just that I think the marketing strategy needs to be changed. Whatever, I'm reviewing the book, not... this.

Rowling is cutting corners. I recall, from my reading of the first four books over a period of six days, being annoyed four separate times by a description of Quidditch. The fifth book is all but disappeared from my memory, but I know for sure that there was no description of Quidditch in this book. Cut corner number one. I'm too lazy to think of others--cutting my own corners, you see--but I'm sure there were more. I guess maybe this was to avoid writing a thousand page book, which, no matter how you slice it, would be much too similar-looking to a Bible, and then wouldn't the fanatics scream? Rowling doesn't want to be burned at the stake, I'm sure.

Overall, despite cut corners and shocking subject matter (well, not really, it's not like she keeps dallying off into descriptive sex scenes like Ms. Auel) Harry Potter and blahblahblah wasn't a terrible book at all. It was quite entertaining on the superficial level, and that's the truth. Although Rowling quite efficaciously didn't avoid the cliché of having the evil people confess in long speeches at the end, I guess she can be forgiven since she's still the biggest rock star author who's ever existed.

*In fact, the first book of the series is right here.

Internetus speakus

I dunno if I've mentioned this before or not, but I have a sort of passion for trivia. This means that I know a very little bit (usually just enough to make a fool of myself) about a lot of things.

Thanks to this immense and shallow body of knowledge, I tend to come up with really crazy ideas at odd times: in the shower, taking out the garbage, or, today, at the tail end of my lunch break. The ideas, I'm sure, have occurred to other people before, in which case you should totally point me in the direction of further reading. My thought process is unique to me (to some degree), though, and anyway this is where I'm sure the majority of these "supplemental" posts will come from.

(Fun fact 1: the way I hear the word "supplemental" in my head is the way Captain Picard says it when he's saying "Captain's Log, supplemental." Fun fact 2: My favourite discussion of the genesis of ideas is in Edgar Allan Poe's detective story, "The Murders in the Rue Morgue," which I probably bring up way too often, but is awesome.)

Aaanyway, today, at the very end of my lunch break, I was reading a netiquette article on CNN by the ladies from Stuff Hipsters Hate. Be warned, because things are about to get hypocritical. Also apologies to about 80% of my readers, who've already had this conversation or one very much like it with me.

The article was about hash tags and lulz and the terrible things that the internet is doing to the English language. (Briefly. I've extrapolated a little.) This is something that really interests me, because I love the internet and I love English. I complain all the time about bad spelling and inappropriate apostrophes. On the other hand, I'm pretty fascinated by the fact that language isn't static, and that you're essentially using it properly as long as the people you're communicating with are understanding what you're saying (although that brings us around to the whole debate about whether anyone ever really understands anyone else, boo, hoo, hoo, etc.).

So of course the next thing that occurred to me, scanning the comments of a netiquette article, was Latin.

Specifically, Vulgar Latin.

Basically Vulgar Latin was what the Roman masses spoke, and I presume it was a lot less cumbersome than Classical Latin. It also gave us the Romance languages, and wow I'm not a linguist just go read the Wikipedia article.

The point here, in the whole netiquette+Latin thread of my thoughts, is that I don't think we need to be all that worried about netspeak. Already I don't think anyone would argue that spoken language and written language are exactly the same thing. Then throw in things like academic writing and professional jargon (and if you think "lol" and "wtf" are bad, holy abbreviations in the engineering profession, Batman! ... i.e. HAITEPB!) and it's all a gigantic mess. If netspeak becomes its own sort of sub-English, that's actually cooler, in my opinion, than if everyone on the internet were to suddenly start using perfect grammar and spelling.

Quick, suggestions for a name for the internet language that are better than "Vulgar English," even if that's probably the most accurate!